3 Simple Steps - How to Make Friends with Backyard Birds

How to Build a Friendship: Patience + Food = Results

Do you ever admire a pretty bird in your yard? Have you been drawn to a particular species, and wondered how to get a closer look, rather than just catching a fleeting glimpse of them in the yard or perched high in a tree?  

Here are three simple steps, outlined below, that I learned from an avid birder and have had great success with. By following them, you'll discover how to connect with your feathered visitors, allowing them to get to know you better. They may even want to stay and hang out for a little while, giving you the chance to interact and marvel at their colors, songs, and behavior.

Where Do You Begin?

There are over 1,000 species in the United States. Many can be found in various settings, whether in a home or apartment, in the city or country. Each environment is graced with its collections of regional or seasonal feathered residents.

Black Capped Chickadee Gambel's Quail Northern Cardinal

Follow these steps and helpful tips designed to guide you in observing, talking to, feeding, and bonding with your avian friends helping you build a pleasurable and lasting connection with them in your home!

Step1. Observe

Your goal is to show you are not a threat. 

Begin by simply observing each other.  Look through a window, a sliding glass door, or a spot in your yard or balcony. When you see a bird nearby, glance in their direction, then look away. Gradually begin increasing the frequency and length of eye contact.

Keep in mind that animals are all about survival. They are under constant threat of danger and on the lookout for predators. Predators are silent and will stare directly at their prey.  You must show them you are not one.  Be patient and respectful as you will build their trust and ultimately be rewarded with their friendship. According to Alfred G. Martin, author and authority on birds, he cautions the following:

Do Not Swallow  – The sight of food makes a bird's mouth water, and he always swallows just before he starts to eat. When he sees you swallow while you are looking at him, he may think you are considering him for your next meal " (1)

Relax and Observe

Step 2.  Vocalize (talk to them)   

Your goal is for them to know and recognize your voice.

Birds are incredibly perceptive to sounds, and your voice can become a familiar and comforting addition to their environment. Be cool, and avoid startling them. Keep your tone calm and soothing, or even whistle a gentle tune. This vocal connection not only helps to gain their trust but provides you with a unique way to communicate.

Try using a phrase or two like “Hello, I see you” “I’m coming” “Are you hungry?” 

“Good morning Blue Jay” “Nice to see you”  “Hello there” or “Come and get it”

Choose a consistent time each day to interact. Perhaps when you have your morning coffee or a time you notice they often show up. Birds are creatures of habit and will start to recognize your presence and voice over time. You may notice the birds becoming more curious and willing to come closer as they begin to associate your voice with safety and food.

Step 3. Feed and Vocalize – Offer Their Favorite Thing – FOOD

Your goal is to have them associate food with your voice.

Now it’s time to offer some type of seed mixture, nuts, or other tasty morsels. Using your chosen phrases, talk to them the whole time as you feed them. Put food in the area or direction you want them to be in. Maybe a nearby table, fence, or landing spot. 

Select a favorite part of the yard or patio where you get a good view, or near a comfy chair where you can watch. Walk out toward them, toss a handful of food, and go back to your spot. Avoid lingering or watching too closely, as it may feel like a violation of their space or frighten them away.  Be patient. It pays off.

Gradually, over time, you will move the food closer and closer to where you are or will be observing. As you continue to vocalize and spend time in their presence, their fear and hesitation will transform into a trusted friendship. How long that takes, depends on the bird and the situation, and how often these feathered friends stop by. Some may become regulars, others seasonal.

Make sure no other feeders or food are competing with your offerings. However, a nearby birdbath is fine and may be an additional welcoming lure.

By providing a variety of foods, you can attract a diverse group of bird species found in your state or region. Once you have established some regulars, you will no doubt learn what each one likes. Then, you can try putting out different snacks to attract new birds to your place. Please avoid offering processed foods, salty snacks, or sugary items.

Find out what feed may be best for your garden pals, most bags of food will say what species it’s for. You can find a variety of bagged seeds, seed mixes, mealworms, or nuts at a local hardware or home improvement store, the garden center of popular retailers like Home Depot and Walmart, as well as grocery stores, feed stores, and online.

Watch, Engage, and Enjoy

Your backyard birds will probably be showing up to get your attention now.

Take pride in knowing that you can make friends with backyard birds.

Nuthatch on a log

You have likely formed friendly and engaging relationships with one, or a variety of species, and regularly enjoy visits from your bird companions. Your home will become a favorite place for them to count on to enjoy a desirable, pleasant, and satisfying visit. They understand the routine of seeing you and knowing food is coming, and they are safe and in no danger.

The more you observe and interact, the more you will understand and appreciate their behavior, unique characteristics, and beauty. You may soon find them initiating communication, trying to get your attention by chirping or tapping on your screen or window.  They may run or fly near you when they see you.  You’ve got bird buddies. What enchanting comrades.

Regional Favorite - Roadrunner

I live in the desert southwest and by using the methods above, my regular visitors, guests, and friends now include Cardinals, Quail, Curved Billed Thrashers, Aberts Towhee, Mourning Doves, and Hummingbirds. My personal favorites are the roadrunners, which I find especially intriguing, and a pair of cardinals

who chirp and tap at my window for a peanut a couple of times a day.  Keep in mind some breeds, by nature, are more friendly, daring, skittish, or elusive than others.

I encourage you to have fun experimenting and take these three simple steps to make friends with backyard birds. Wishing you success and unending delight in building unique connections with your winged wonders. I would love for you to share your stories and experiences. Please contact me with questions or comments. Julie@CarefreeNook.com.

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(1) Alfred G. Martin. "Hand Taming Wild Birds at the Feeder." (1973), p. 2.